Mass Effect: Troglodyte
by Cyberweasel89
Summary: A young female Salarian is picked for the crew of a Spectre's ship, the SSV Normandy SR-1. There, she meets a crewmate she doesn't recognize the species of! Her Salarian curiosity is piqued the more she learns of this slimy creature of androgyny.


Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. Mass Effect belongs to BioWare Corp. All existing lore and worldly premises were created by them. Several original characters were created by myself, but most of them are based on existing material created by BioWare for Mass Effect. The Troglodytes are entirely original, though the word has existed within the English language for a very long time.

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Mass Effect – Troglodyte

By Cyberweasel89

Prologue: What's In a Name?

"It's an honor to meet you!"

"Enough small talk. Just take me to the product."

"As you wish."

For her, this was just another job. Sort of. This was the start of a series of another jobs.

Over the years, she had gotten tired of being a mercenary. Tired of the violence. Her kind was naturally inclined to fighting, and she was no exception. But mercenary work was getting boring. She needed something knew.

"I'm keeping the product in the storage area. Its in a solid metal crate, no chance of it getting misplaced or lost. On the way, do you have any questions?"

The short male volus leading her was irritating. She seriously wanted to lift him by the neck and beat that smug tone out of his voice. But this was a business transaction. And even she knew that you didn't kill your supplier until after the transaction was done, and only if you don't plan to buy from him again.

"I guess. Where'd ya find the product?"

The volus inhaled softly. "Oh, its quite a story."

"Gimme the short version."

"Well, my crew opened up a dormant Mass Relay in a less-explored part of the galaxy. It led us to some backwater planet where, surprisingly, intelligent life existed."

"How intelligent?"

"Well, they speak the civilized tongue, for one. We were perfectly capable of communicating with them, though it was hard because, strangely, they don't seem able to speak above a whisper." The smug volus paused for a breath. Damn, it really pissed her off. "But they're pretty primitive. No space travel, no technology. They were all cave dwellers, garbed in clothing made from a type of sturdy dried cave moss. We saw a profitable business opportunity with this new race, so we captured one."

The mercenary-turned-smuggler scoffed. "Just one?"

The volus waved her off. "We thought we'd just grab one and see what the demand is for this rare pet. If the demand was high, we would go back and get more."

"Really?" she asked, disbelieving.

The volus cleared his throat nervously. "Well, thing is, they're incredibly difficult to capture. They seem capable of escaping any kind of restraint by-"

"I ain't interested in that. Just tell me what they eat, how long they sleep, and what sex this one is."

"Right. Sorry. Well, they seem to sleep about eight hours a day. Pretty standard. They're herbivores that subsist on cave plants. They can eat meat, but it's a bit hard for them to chew due to their herbivorous teeth. As for this particular one's sex... we don't know."

A pause. "What? You haven't checked?"

The volus rubbed the back of his head uneasily. "Well, that's the thing. The crew is a bit apprehensive about getting too close to it. It smells pretty awful. I can't tell myself, but they say it smells rank."

"So you can't tell just by lookin'? Is it beastly?"

"Actually, these things have a shape and figure comparable to the Earth-clan and Thessia-clan. The problem is that they all look alike."

A long pause. "What? Say that again."

"The caves were swarming with them once they came out of hiding. All of them looked absolutely identical. The crew couldn't even tell which were male and which were female."

The mercenary grunted in response. She'd check its sex when the transaction was made.

"Ah, here we are."

The volus led her into the cargo hold of the freighter, where a metal crate sat against a wall among other metal crates of varying sizes. The volus gave a nod, motioning for two krogans standing nearby to begin opening it.

"I should warn you though, ma'am. Being cave dwellers, these things are photosensitive. They make up for it with a second pair of eyelids, but we dimmed the lights in here a bit just to be sure."

Oh, so that was it. And here she had been thinking they were planning to ambush her when it got dark."Great, great. I don't care. Anyway, what's this species called? I need to know what to tell my employer."

"Well, this species is a race of underdeveloped, unevolved cave-dwellers. So we decided to call them a human word with a similar connotation. We call them..."

The side of the crate fell open, two glowing yellow eyes peering from inside the crate, along with a wave of pent-up stink.

"Troglodytes!"

The mercenary had drawn her shotgun just in case this thing attacked. While many of the surrounding people from the volus's crew covered their nose, while one even wretched, she was unaffected. I guess that was the benefit of your nose not functioning.

"There it is! Hideous, isn't it?" the volus praised.

"Meh. I dunno. I've seen some pretty sick shit before."

"And this thing takes the cake, doesn't it?"

"Not really. Compared to the heart of evil, this ain't nothin'."

The volus chuckled. "Heart of evil? Interesting. Does evil really exist?"

"Doesn't matter. Evil exists in the hearts of every species in the galaxy as a whole. Every civilization in the universe."

She could tell the volus was smirking under his suit. "And what makes you an expert on the galax-"

He was interrupted when the former mercenary grabbed the volus by his suit's neck and slammed him against a wall. Her fierce eyes glared into the eyes of his suit.

"Look here, ya damn shitty merchant. I've stared into the eyes of the beast. I've seen first-hand that evil exists. I've seen what a damn shitty world this is. I've dealt with everything this world could dish out and grew stronger from it. So don't ever question my knowledge of the depths of the heart."

The former mercenary lowered the volus to the ground. She hadn't realized it, but she still had her shotgun in her other hand. Damn, smuggling would be way different from mercenary work, wouldn't it? Violent tendencies were encoded into her every being, after all.

"M-My apologies, Ms. Bruck." The volus stuttered.

She turned to look back at the creature before her. This... troglodyte.

"It doesn't matter." She decided after a grunt. "Anyway, this thing got a name?"

"No, ma'am. We don't name our living products. We leave that to the buyer."

"Hmph. Not havin' a name's gonna be inconvenient. What'd ya say ya called this thing?"

The volus swallowed hard. "A troglodyte, ma'am."

"Hmm... Weird word. Kinda long. At least for now, I thing I'll call this thing..."

And thus began the story of the lone little troglodyte. Light years from home and thrust into a new world, the lone little troglodyte must forge a path. And this path will eventually lead to the maiden voyage...

Of the SSV Normandy.


End file.
